Retro Rundown: Advance Wars

Retro Rundown: Advance Wars

Ive been addicted to my emulator and playing classic games lately.

There’s nothing like that warm nostalgic feeling I get when I’m strategically moving in for the kill and ultimately the win in this turn based strategy war simulator for the GBA(Game Boy Advance). When it comes to this system a game like this really shines. I would definitely put it in my top ten.

The levels are reminiscent of  a puzzle. It can be drudgery if you are like me and want to suffer through mistakes made and try to make the best of a game. The raw experience can make a single encounter last entirely too long sometimes 70+ days/turns is just too much(me complaining about choices I make SMH). Of course you can save before every move or whatever you want to do and if you dont like it you can always just restart where you last saved.

Its not often that I even get to complete an entire campaign mode but this game has a somewhat short campaign mode.Do not fear though because there is plenty of play potential in other game modes as well. If I knew how to, it would be fun to play with other people, but I seriously doubt people are still playing Advance Wars even though its a great game.

Really what turned me onto this game was the cover art right out it just appeals to my anime loving fanboy heart. Honestly I wouldn’t mind doing some fan-art myself.. and maybe I will.

advance-wars-paul-tokachThe mechanics are really easy to understand. The tutorial is even something I enjoyed learning how to play the game which can be rare. The graphics are superb for the platform and are utilized to the specifications of the machines maximum capacity.

The characters are fun and energetic causing me to appreciate my own dull and lazy lifestyle of non-war activities. If only I were afforded the opportunity to lead the cries of many to their dastardly demise on the battlegrounds! Just playing Im an advocate for world peace. YUS! lets all hold hands and scream LOVE.

advance_wars_forum_avatar_by_navalaceAnyways I dont want this to seem like a shitpost so heres some valuable information about my experience playing this game:

I’m still pumping hours into the game literally over 100 hours so far so you know its a worthy investment for you Retro Heads. You are employed by the Red Ribbon Army(this is actually false and I am just reverting to Dragon Ball knowledge) to be an advisor for the up and coming commander who happens to be a small child that goes by the name of Andy. Andy is the type of guy who likes to carry a wrench around and thinks its fun to fix damaged items.

The battle system is quite interesting and has a lot of potential for advancement and development if someone were to recreate or build off of this set up. All commanders are given the same units they can use or build. The commander in charge of the units has special traits that allows certain units to perform well or worse depending on the scenario. Take Andy for example; he possesses a special ability that heals/repairs all units for 2 points and gives them a small boost in their combat abilities for that turn. Other commanders has similar abilities that charge over time depending on moves made during turn.

Md Tank Cosplay by d-slim

My personal favorite commander comes from a small island and is quite special in many ways. Taking the initiative to attack first and ask questions later his most trusted council would turn out to be his young adolescent daughter who is much more skilled in the art of war. The island reminds me of Japan for some reason. Fighting this guy is hilarious because he is just terrible at everything even though he has clear advantages over your forces which aren’t even looking for a fight he attacks anyways.

The character animations for battle are really quite a trip. Assuming you don’t care about the lives of troops and machines created within the confines of a handheld video game you might get  a kick out of the killing blow on an enemy troop as well.

Fog of war is something that I do think the game could have went into greater detail developing as there are only 2-3 units that can really see very far at all and on some missions that have fog of war its really annoying to be attacked from somewhere you cant even see and then have to deploy all you troops to or away from said area to root it out. Annoying as can be but its a process.


Advance Wars is like retro heaven. Its fun. Addictive. Handheld. You can emulate it on your phone FFS. The graphics are super cool cutting edge and the objective of the game is KILL. What more do you want from a turn based war simulator? Let me know! Alternatively if you would just love to play this game but dont own a GBA you can learn how to play it on your phone here How to Emulate GBA on Android.



How to Emulate GBA on Android

How to Emulate GBA on Android

Hi, welcome to the Android GBA(Gameboy Advance) Emulation how to!

IF you are using an android phone this should be pretty quick and simple.

IF you are using an Iphone or any other type of phone such as a flip phone from the 90s then I suggest you throw that garbo away and get your life right.

If you have enough space to get any game in the playstore and play it then you have more than enough space to download John GBA Lite and a dozen or so games. Use discretion when downloading games because it is illegal to use ROMs you do not own. In my past I have bought every single GBA title known to man so I use them all frequently.

We will be utilizing a wonderful website that deserves your hard earned money if you are a retro head as you will be soon entering retro heaven. Welcome to the past, present, and future. Emuparadise is your one stop shop for all games retro. If you are having a hard time figuring all of this out I have installed this handy dandy numbered list that should get you to the emu of your dreams and the games of your past.

  1. Own Android Phone
  2. Download John GBA Lite from the playstore
  3. Visit
  4. Click ROMs, ISOs, and Games
  5. Find the Gameboy Advance under handheld/cellphone
  6. Search the titles for games you love
  7. Click the game
  8. Under the quick Navigation index click the Direct Download Link
  9. Click the Download link
  10. Submit the CAPTCHA and download for happy days!
  11. To play simply open the emulator
  12. The ROMs will place themselves magically in front of your eyes
  13. Pick one and play on, Garth

Thanks for stopping by and have a supa coor day!

GBA Legend of Zelda: The Minish reCap

GBA Legend of Zelda: The Minish reCap

Being away from home allows me the opportunity to explore. To experience the splendor of adventure and spend my time saving the princess.. hold up. Why am I playing video games in my pursuit of adventure in the real world? Priorities! You have to save the princess. Its pretty basic. Damsel in Distress; the classic scenario. Some don’t see this as an opportunity such as that of a chore. You are bound by the laws of man. If you don’t save this Princess then you yourself will never reach true potential. The true potential of being a well renown bad-ass. Does it matter that your renown is confined to the medium of which is your gaming console?  Please, dont ask me. Cynically self absorbed into this culture of gaming I must not concern myself with these questions. For now we must move forward.

Currently emulating on my Android phone. Using John GBA Lite. I play a few other GBA titles as well but of course we are not talking about those today.. I get my ROMS from emuparadise and if you are new to emulating or just want to check out my work Retro Gaming Emulation: howto and whyto.

Artist bellhenge


Ahhh, The Legend of Zelda. What a nostalgic title for me. You too? That makes three of us.. Numbers and words smh… heh. This specific title for GBA is simply put outstanding. Very fun to play with everything you love from the classic NES and GB title with loads more. The Minish Cap is very inviting and can easily be enjoyed by all ages. The puzzles and mastery of skills and items has left me wanting to hack and slash my way back through every deaths recap. Yes. I have died. Will continue to die and will continue to live on.

I will try not to spoil anything for those who have not had the pleasure of exploring this game yet. I would like to talk about some of the things I like about this title. The level design is flawless and very entertaining to embark into. I think the minish cap really banked on its ability to utilize the space provided to it maximum potential. It allows you to very early realize that there is more potential in the early levels than what you are allowed to partake in at present time. This gave me a meaningful purpose and an easy eye on the prize mentality.

minish capThe actual game design is beautiful. The colors are vibrant and well contrasted in particular events and scenes. The gameplay is smooth and controls are clearly executed to a high degree of perfection. Storytelling is very entertaining and well thought. Many secrets to uncover. Lack of in game secret checklist is nice. I enjoy finding them by suprise! The artwork is very nice. The game is a must play for anyone who enjoys retro style 2D sprites.

It can be rather annoying to switch weapons all the time. I wish there were a quick switch  with maybe two favorites to make the gameplay a bit more smooth. I also think there should be an earlier 2nd Wallet upgrade. Otherwise you just end up spending your hard earned rupees on lots of treasure containing pies and sweets. I enjoy the sidequests too much to allow them to sit idly by. You should also know that you will spend a considerable amount of time treasure hunting if you dont want to mow the lawn. rupes

Being a kid is hard work but you’re going to save this princess so saving up for that sweet boomerang is a definite must. Ive personally found multiple 200 Rupi in various hidden chests before even defeating the second boss. Adventure hard and spend quick. Catch some chickens= PAYDAY!Pies and sweets for days. Every blade of grass, tree, rock, pot, hole, chimney, shoe, etc. can be manipulated in some way shape or form to enhance the progression of the game.

All in all I believe Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap to be one of the best games for the GBA(Gameboy Advance) and strongly urge you to pick it up and try it out.

Retro Gaming Emulation: howto and whyto

Retro Gaming Emulation: howto and whyto

This ones for all of you out there whose disks are broken, your pockets are deep with lint, your laser wont read, and the motor doesn’t spin as fast. All your base r belong to us.

sonicgifThis is in celebration of my favorite Retro Gaming website EmuParadise 15th birthday and also just honoring all Retro gaming and the Emulation of retro systems and its games.

First of all, I would like to thank the online community for making this possible. All of the open source development is really pushing the envelope and making for better experiences to be had. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with our old gaming systems. Beyond repair? Probably not, but beyond my willingness of time to dedicate to repair? probably for now. lol. This is my thought process for emulation and why it is so common nowadays. As most everyone owns these games and systems anyways it is an oppurtunity to revisit titles on a new frontier and platform.

In order to get into Emulation one must simply be willing to learn how and have access to a computer with their own rights. Be prepared to dedicate some time to reading and trouble shooting. You might also want to have an up to date antivirus. I use Avast. The premium membership offers a sandbox similar to sandboxie.

Grab your system here at emulator-zone . They also have the GPU software and other plugins that may make the game more familiar to you like Controller Plugins. The setups can be difficult coming in with a fresh perspective but its really quite simple. You will also need the system firmware or BIOS which can be found here romcollectorcoool

After that you will need games which of course can be found at and all of these services are offered for free. As you can see it can be quite easy to be a cool kid nowadays. Thanks for reading 🙂

Azure Dreams PSX Retro Rundown

Azure Dreams PSX Retro Rundown

I recently got ahold of this gem on EmuParadise. Having no earlier experience in this game, I jumped in with zero expectations and was wow’d. I really enjoyed the game, so far putting in about ten hours. The artwork is really stylish and has a great anime feel. The character models are not on par with say, Final Fantasy, but are pleasing to the eye. It is easy to be able to discern the difference between various monsters and the familiar NPCs and with a somewhat 3D aspect. Although, the landscape is sullen and lacking this is possibly for a good reason though I have not gotten that far yet.

The game throws you into the barren desert land city of Monsbaiya. Which is explained in the game to be named this bc this city is a hub for buying and selling monsters. Next to the city you will notice rather quickly a MASSIVE and terribly menacing looking tower. This is where the monsters come from and basically your stomping grounds throughout the game.

A young boy becomes a man on his 15th birthday. Traditionally, this is when he is finally allowed to enter the tower and pursue the dreams of becoming a monster hunter and tamer. Our story begins with a painstaking WWF elbow drop to an unsuspecting main character named Koh from a cute little number named Nico. There are a few other scenes before this but nothing else really stood out besides the story about the father and how he was the best monster hunter and he never returned from the tower. ALSO, the moment of your birth which I found rather funny bc you talk to an angel who is a flying baby about what name you would like to have.NicoAnimated.gif~c200

So you got no money, no gear, I think mom might have given you some potent herbs but lets face it. You are broke and hopeless. You talk to some older hunters at the bar and they pretty much laugh at your face. Walking around town you quickly notice everyone is dirt poor besides one family and compared to them you get no respect. There is little left to do besides begin your career as a monster hunter and start showing these people that you are going to be their savior.

On your way to the tower you meet a flying dragon type looking monster called a Kewne. Assuming he must have been a monster belonging to you father you should probably accept his attempts at being friendly and enter the tower with him by your side.

The combat system is turn based. Allowing you to equip a weapon and a shield and utilize the abilities of your tamed monsters when out on a collar. I’m not sure when you get more than one collar but it definitely happens sometime. I named my kewne Jafar and hes the best monster I have so far, maybe just bc hes the highest level but haha idk. The best equipment combo I have found is the life wand and the live shield. The life wand steals health and the live shield retaliates when attacked. With this combo you can safely manage the first four floors to save your monsters MP for the more difficult floors.

Its always a good idea to use a wind crystal which evacuates you from the tower when you have found multiple pita fruit or monster eggs. I say this bc you don’t want to risk dying and losing these items and its not such a big deal to reenter the tower. In fact I would recommend saving up pita fruit for your attempt to make it the farthest bc your monster will run out of mana very quickly otherwise around the seventh to the eighth floors.

For those LOVEBIRDS out there don’t worry you will be happily accommodated as this game is straight and GB(gayboy) friendly. There are many suitable relationships to build within the town and even a possible man to man relationship. I haven’t sought out this area yet just deduced the idea by the fortune teller questions and answers.

fanart by
fanart by

Overall the game is very entertaining and enjoyable even after ten hours I find myself wanting to delve further into the tower and uncover its secrets. The characters are very likable and beautifully animated. The progression can seem slow at first but picks up rather quickly with each intrusion of the tower. And finally the storyline is just crafted so well with small events constantly keeping you pushing for further progression and mystified by the possibilities.

I recommend if you have not heard of this game find a copy and give it a shot.

Parasite Eve Retro Psx Emu bbys

Parasite Eve Retro Psx Emu bbys

I have been putting this one off due to a bad start on this game almost having cleared Day one in under an hour. I died during one of the more important story line battles due to not using a potion and not understanding the mechanics of the enemy attack. I played this game with my sister as a young tike and enjoyed her enthusiasm for the “scary” moments LOL. Horrified as I was it seemed as if I was addicted to the genre and quick became on my way to playing them throughout my remaining years as a gamer.

cosplay by
cosplay by

This game is about New York City cop Aya Brea. We begin the story after the opening scene that depicts some very strange and disturbing happenings and alien creatures. Arriving at the opera house to catch a date our character is stunning in a red dress. She and her date converse as they walk into the theater preparing for the show. He is almost sure to get lucky after a night at the opera one would think but the evening turns sour when the lead actress begans to somehow combust the situation into a frenzy by literally causing spontaneous combustion.

“The mitochondria KNOW”-Eve

Our character is somehow resilient to these attacks and being the super cool cop that she is decides that its time to investigate and bring justice to the situation. We are given full control at this point and have the option to delve further into the theater or exit to the street. In the street we find two fellow officers and a medic. One of the officers will restock you with ammo and the other is just a good for nothing goose. The medic as you can probably guess will heal you.

Adventuring further into the theater we find a great big gaping hole. LETS JUMP IN THAT BAD BOY! Likely the hole was created in a cut scene but i cant remember so we will just pretend that if we believe in magic then stuff like this can be explained outside of what is the truth. The games fighting mechanics are subpar for this generation of gaming. I feel like it could have been better bc the “arena” just happens to be wherever you are in the game though I dont mind that the battles dont take particularly long.

art by
art by

So I assume we are fighting some stupid ugly mutated rats by now and wondering when does this story line move forward an inch! Well what you didnt know is that you should be searching the closets, the burned bodies, and anything that seems searchable. Bound to find something worth your while the story just must move on. When we find the key to the dressing room and read the very strange diary of the main actress we realize that whatever is truly wrong is originating from this individual and we continue our search.

Eve is located at the end of the hallway underneath the theater. Sorry for the teaser but you are gonna want to get into that room out of anticipation to bring a close to this investigation. After approaching her she turns into some mutated Queen bee human and begins to battle you. This fight killed me and I didnt play again for two weeks making it super hard for me to finish writing this review. I finally mustered up the courage to jump back into battle and take her out carefully staying in between her quadruple plasma beam cannon attack so as to not take any damages.

Upon defeating her you receive a sweet new pistol and a new hole opens up leading further down into the sewers. Taking this route you will encounter a few more fights before seeing a girl from earlier in the game and being enticed to follow her to a closed gate where you have the option to save. After this you can also open the gate and enter. After you enter you see Eve and she discusses important storyline information telling you about yourself and how important you are to this game LOL. games… Then you fight a big stupid mutated alligator?

fanart by
fanart by

This game was sooo good in my memory. After revisiting it I can still appreciate the storyline and artwork though the mechanics are a bit too classic to be reused. I would recommend this game to anyone who is into the RETRO gaming world and also anyone who enjoys the RPG/horror genre.

Final Fantasy IX Retro psx emu babies

Final Fantasy IX Retro psx emu babies

So, after downloading the latest epsxe and acquiring the proper addons at romcollector and emulatorzone I began my journey into the beautiful land of Final Fantasy IX my favorite of the final fantasy series. I love the artwork in this game it is cartoony and holds a lot of depth and really suits the atmosphere of the game. The storyline is really something you dont want to miss out on as well with so many good characters that always make me laugh. The battle mechanics are easy to understand and progression into the story is quick and breezy never leaving you with a dull moment.

Anyways, we meet the main character Zidane after the opening scene that shows a beautiful girls dream of a simple ship against a great storm. She then awakens in front of a window with a sunlit sky full of happy birds atop a great castle standing above the grand city of Alexandria. Zooming across the horizon we see a great ship sailing through the clouds and on the bow a winged mermaid. Here we are, aboard the magnificent flying airship Tantalus. We arrive in a dark room holding a candle and given control at this point to walk around. After exploring the small room I find some hidden items, a sign defining the ship and its maximum occupancy, and proceed to light the candle which brings the other members of Tantalus(Blank, Cinna, and Marcus) out to greet me.


Shortly after our hellos in comes a dragon headed man beast who releases a mighty roar and lays down a fierce beating as it initiates a fight with my party. One of my party members Cinna; A rather ugly looking fellow with a sledge hammer looking weapon(mace), dies twice in the battle from one hit of this dragon headed mans sword. Being in a party of thieves isnt all that bad though, they may be rather weak but I am able to grab a few nice items off the beast including a Mage Masher which is a really good item for the main character.


As I defeat the beast his head split into two pieces and falls to the wayside revealing a human head beneath. Ah, it is our cunning leader Baku and he is about to debrief us into our next mission. In this den of thieves the gang reviews the plot in order to steal the beautiful princes Garnet. Only by posing as a theater troupe do they gain such close access to the princess and so they must put on a play in order to hatch out the devious job.


Ive been playing for about two hours now and have gotten past the abduction though I wont ruin it for you. I really just meant for this to be a teaser and maybe entice others into buckling down for a nice retro style RPG. This particular one is my very first one ever played surprisingly and led me to playing many many more. A close second favorite being The Legend of Dragoon also for ps1. This genre of gaming has helped me to enjoy many many hours in my childhood and moving forward into my adulthood I can still find the time to enjoy sitting down and admiring the artwork, storyline, and just overall great functionality of this game.