Retro Rundown: Advance Wars

Retro Rundown: Advance Wars

Ive been addicted to my emulator and playing classic games lately.

There’s nothing like that warm nostalgic feeling I get when I’m strategically moving in for the kill and ultimately the win in this turn based strategy war simulator for the GBA(Game Boy Advance). When it comes to this system a game like this really shines. I would definitely put it in my top ten.

The levels are reminiscent of  a puzzle. It can be drudgery if you are like me and want to suffer through mistakes made and try to make the best of a game. The raw experience can make a single encounter last entirely too long sometimes 70+ days/turns is just too much(me complaining about choices I make SMH). Of course you can save before every move or whatever you want to do and if you dont like it you can always just restart where you last saved.

Its not often that I even get to complete an entire campaign mode but this game has a somewhat short campaign mode.Do not fear though because there is plenty of play potential in other game modes as well. If I knew how to, it would be fun to play with other people, but I seriously doubt people are still playing Advance Wars even though its a great game.

Really what turned me onto this game was the cover art right out it just appeals to my anime loving fanboy heart. Honestly I wouldn’t mind doing some fan-art myself.. and maybe I will.

advance-wars-paul-tokachThe mechanics are really easy to understand. The tutorial is even something I enjoyed learning how to play the game which can be rare. The graphics are superb for the platform and are utilized to the specifications of the machines maximum capacity.

The characters are fun and energetic causing me to appreciate my own dull and lazy lifestyle of non-war activities. If only I were afforded the opportunity to lead the cries of many to their dastardly demise on the battlegrounds! Just playing Im an advocate for world peace. YUS! lets all hold hands and scream LOVE.

advance_wars_forum_avatar_by_navalaceAnyways I dont want this to seem like a shitpost so heres some valuable information about my experience playing this game:

I’m still pumping hours into the game literally over 100 hours so far so you know its a worthy investment for you Retro Heads. You are employed by the Red Ribbon Army(this is actually false and I am just reverting to Dragon Ball knowledge) to be an advisor for the up and coming commander who happens to be a small child that goes by the name of Andy. Andy is the type of guy who likes to carry a wrench around and thinks its fun to fix damaged items.

The battle system is quite interesting and has a lot of potential for advancement and development if someone were to recreate or build off of this set up. All commanders are given the same units they can use or build. The commander in charge of the units has special traits that allows certain units to perform well or worse depending on the scenario. Take Andy for example; he possesses a special ability that heals/repairs all units for 2 points and gives them a small boost in their combat abilities for that turn. Other commanders has similar abilities that charge over time depending on moves made during turn.

Md Tank Cosplay by d-slim

My personal favorite commander comes from a small island and is quite special in many ways. Taking the initiative to attack first and ask questions later his most trusted council would turn out to be his young adolescent daughter who is much more skilled in the art of war. The island reminds me of Japan for some reason. Fighting this guy is hilarious because he is just terrible at everything even though he has clear advantages over your forces which aren’t even looking for a fight he attacks anyways.

The character animations for battle are really quite a trip. Assuming you don’t care about the lives of troops and machines created within the confines of a handheld video game you might get  a kick out of the killing blow on an enemy troop as well.

Fog of war is something that I do think the game could have went into greater detail developing as there are only 2-3 units that can really see very far at all and on some missions that have fog of war its really annoying to be attacked from somewhere you cant even see and then have to deploy all you troops to or away from said area to root it out. Annoying as can be but its a process.


Advance Wars is like retro heaven. Its fun. Addictive. Handheld. You can emulate it on your phone FFS. The graphics are super cool cutting edge and the objective of the game is KILL. What more do you want from a turn based war simulator? Let me know! Alternatively if you would just love to play this game but dont own a GBA you can learn how to play it on your phone here How to Emulate GBA on Android.



How to Emulate GBA on Android

How to Emulate GBA on Android

Hi, welcome to the Android GBA(Gameboy Advance) Emulation how to!

IF you are using an android phone this should be pretty quick and simple.

IF you are using an Iphone or any other type of phone such as a flip phone from the 90s then I suggest you throw that garbo away and get your life right.

If you have enough space to get any game in the playstore and play it then you have more than enough space to download John GBA Lite and a dozen or so games. Use discretion when downloading games because it is illegal to use ROMs you do not own. In my past I have bought every single GBA title known to man so I use them all frequently.

We will be utilizing a wonderful website that deserves your hard earned money if you are a retro head as you will be soon entering retro heaven. Welcome to the past, present, and future. Emuparadise is your one stop shop for all games retro. If you are having a hard time figuring all of this out I have installed this handy dandy numbered list that should get you to the emu of your dreams and the games of your past.

  1. Own Android Phone
  2. Download John GBA Lite from the playstore
  3. Visit
  4. Click ROMs, ISOs, and Games
  5. Find the Gameboy Advance under handheld/cellphone
  6. Search the titles for games you love
  7. Click the game
  8. Under the quick Navigation index click the Direct Download Link
  9. Click the Download link
  10. Submit the CAPTCHA and download for happy days!
  11. To play simply open the emulator
  12. The ROMs will place themselves magically in front of your eyes
  13. Pick one and play on, Garth

Thanks for stopping by and have a supa coor day!

On Grinding through Bronze part 2

On Grinding through Bronze part 2

Can we analyze the meta and pick champions such as Blitzcrank and Sejuani(who currently have very high win-rates) to pick up some progression in Bronze? You bet, and I did. Already at 50 lp in Bronze 2. I’m setting my sights for Silver and Beyond.

LoL(League of Legends) elo hell ranked game-play(the kind of competitive e-sports that can net pro players in millions a year) often revolves around pro-picks and meta-picks. What I find to work the best is instead of trying to adapt to the meta is making the meta work for my play-style. I enjoy playing champions with a strong sense of survival and a somewhat equal fight or flight capability. While it certainly helps to have experience playing the enemy champion or being familiar with them the most important thing in ranked is being comfortable playing your champion and knowing the ins and outs of combat capabilities of said champion.


More art by Kaiseresc

Blitzcrank has always served me well in the role of Support. He offers some of the best aggressive play making potential in the game. I tend to rely on the enemy to make mistakes more often than not. In this elo it is common to see various movement patterns and predicting them just takes time to notice them. I hold the mechanical champion in high esteem. Top tier along with other play-makers like Thresh.



tumblr_nig8kc8OYw1rgj7ubo1_500As for Sejuani, she is a very fun champ with a great kit that benefits any team wanting a highly diverse tank. She has a dash knockup that can be combo’d with flash and ult to stop an entire enemy team dead in their tracks safely while you can effectively run away or engage with your team. She is a natural tank and has decent clear speed. Her ult can change any situation into a favorable one and should be used to make plays as well as saved for better plays if you predict them.

While I don’t main Support anymore I noticed that one of my main Champions had rose in win-rate and remained very low in ban rate. It was strange I also noticed my main Jungle pick had rose very high in win-rate and kept a very low ban rate. I changed my focus from Teemo top lane and began to Queue for Jg and Supp. Currently sporting a 4-0 win streak on Blitz. Of course Sej is one of my favorites of all time so I play her a lot but 6-3 isn’t so bad is it? That was my approach to series and Bronze 2.

Will I find all the Dragon Balls and wish my way out of Bronze? Find out next time on Leisure League!


As the second installment and log of my experience On Grinding Through Bronze if you want to check out the first you can always find it here. On Grinding Through Bronze