25 Life Lessons from Video Games

25 Life Lessons from Video Games

1. It may take a few tries, but life gets easier once you figure out the patterns.

– Punch Out (NES)

2. Once you buy a house you’ll never be in debt again.

– Animal Crossing (GC)

3. Look both ways before crossing the street.

– Frogger (Atari)

4. FISH because your princess can always wait a little longer

– The Legend of Zelda (Console)

5. If you don’t like someone then eat them.

– Kirby’s Dreamland (NES)

6. First Aid Kits are absorbed through osmosis

– Any FPS (PC/Console)

7. Animals have money inside them.

– Final Fantasy (NES-PS3)

8. If you need money for pizza, sell your window.

– The Sims (PC)

9. Never waste your diamonds on a hoe.

– Minecraft (PC/PS3)

10. Your unborn children make awesome weapons.

– Yoshi’s Island (SNES)

11. If you try really hard, work your ass off to become awesome at what you do, you will probably lose your significant other.

– World of Warcraft (PC)

12. Real men sleep in their armor

– Every RPG ever (PC/Console)

13. A person’s blood volume often exceeds 78 Litres.

– Dragon Age (PC/PS3)

14. Eat food you find in the trash is good for you

– Double Dragon (NES)

15. Someone being the wrong color is a perfectly okay reason to attack them.

– Halo (PC/XBOX)

16. You can search all your life but your princess will always be out of reach

– Mario Bros. (NES)

17. Bears will fuck you up way more than dragons.

– Skyrim (PC/Console)

18. There is no problem that a change of wardrobe can’t solve.

– Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

19. No matter how strong or powerful you are, some scrub will take you out with a death spell.

– Final Fantasy (Console)

20. Always deviate from your objective, there will almost always be loot.

– Any Game (pc/console)

21. Duck bullets can’t kill a dog.

– Duck Hunt

22. Life’s a water temple, deal with it.

– The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (N64)

23. Sometimes the universe just hates you.

– Tetris (NES)

24. Certain herbs can be used for “Medicinal” purposes.

– Resident Evil (Playstation)

25. No matter how hard you try, you will die in your underwear.

– Ghouls and Ghosts (NES/SNES/Sega)



TOME: A Real Quick Review

TOME: A Real Quick Review

Bored of LoL and browsing STEAM for possible outlets of entertainment I thought I’d try out TOME after reading some pretty positive reviews. Going through the tutorial was alright. Nothing really stood out but I wasnt playing with sound and maybe there were voice relayed instructions. It was extremely easy to just figure out what to do by clicking around and playing another match though.

Basically this game is a broke down team fight oriented MOBA that doesnt focus on last hitting or require you return to base for items or healing. My first impression was that it had decent graphics and great loading time. The UI is fairly well integrated although I was searching for a few things at first I discovered most of what I feel is really important within 2 matches. The controls are somewhat smooth coming from such a decorated game as LoL i felt very at ease using abilities on quick cast.

The GUARDIAN select5ion is rather small right now but the game is fairly new moving forward with slow development. I found the abilities to be rather pleasing and the three guardians I did use were honestly fun to play and easy to understand. There is a very simple item selection that I find can make shopping faster especially with the in lane option to channel the item to you which takes all of two seconds. The towers have a built in overheat feature that shuts them off and making them vulnerable to more damage allowing for extreme diving potential and hard lane pushing.

The only real cons I found with my experience was the very low playerbase. I met four other people in co-op vs AI 3v3 over the course of about ten games. The other matches I was forced to play with bots who until you gain a lead will attempt to do something productive on their own. But when you have a few kills and have downed a turret will simply follow you EVERYWHERE. I think the bots and AI could use some modification. The Q also does not notify you when tabbed out so you must remain on the game to accept a match.

Other than that I really see a lot of potential for this game the model is great and they have very nice gameplay. Some may say that the PVP is unbalanced but I havent experienced this yet due to the low playerbase I did not feel like sitting in q more than 5 mins for a PVP match. I’d like to see the game grow in popularity so please check it out and see what you think for yourself.http://tomeimmortalarena.com/

A Guild to Die For

A Guild to Die For

Literally. http://hordestrikeforce.com/

I would just like to pass on the wonderful tale of my time in the Horde Strike Force. This guild was put together by Strike Lord Gug and is primarily an RP-PVP(roleplaying-player v player) guild on the server of Maelstrom. Now I had been through a many of the so called pvp guilds on maelstrom and even a couple of pve guilds but no other guild has EVER stood up to this experience.

Bloodelf Pally
Bloodelf Pally

The guild is an active ARMY in the virtual World of Warcraft. They can easily be seen marching through the streets or patrolling the surrounding lands. The tolerance for Alliance life is zero and they arent asking questions. Its a beat first and beat some more later relationship.

I joined this guild in mid 2010 during the lich king xpac on my Blood Elf Paladin Alladdin and quickly fell in love with the way things were going. I was currently in the US Army and would often qeue up for a few battlegrounds with guildmates on my lunch break. The other members were constantly role-playing and there was ALWAYS something going on. I really began to become a dedicated member after my first raid on the Alliance city Stormwind. Which lasted about an hour and a half it was hilarious bc we all met together at the small little town outside and began to get some attention after a few low level alliance toons were bombarded with 50+ Horde maxed out killing the Alliance NPCs.

After a few excursions we attempted to walk our way into the front gates but with all the attention we drew from the previous battles the Alliance overwhelmed us causing a retreat and our leaders came up with an alternative entry plan bc we were not about to give up that easy. We regrouped on a mountain to the east and flew in careful of the flying guards and landed on a building close to the docks and just started picking off NPCs and anyone who dare target us. Descending to the streets we made our way through the city wreaking havoc at every corner.

Sylvannus Cosplay by http://mishtaringwaltz.deviantart.com/
Sylvannus Cosplay by http://mishtaringwaltz.deviantart.com/

It became quite hilarious when we all holed up inside the orphanage for a short duration and discussed what the plan was and if we were going to attempt to run back through and pick up our members who had died in the onslaught. Time was of the essence and if you didnt live long enough to make it close to the orphanage by the time we bolted out then you were just a sad lost puppy.

The actual full retreat I cant really recall but we spent quite a numerous amount of time in the alleyways by the train station and even in the station fighting the endless wave after wave of Alliance SCUM. Hahahaha. My first raid was a glorious success and really helped me to make the bonds necessary to make rank and become a more prominent member.

I was last promoted to Soldier which is literally nothing to brag about but I thought it was very cool being a full member of the biggest guild and best guild on maelstrom. If I could ever get some more members I would definitely want to use HSF as my model and go from there.

So TY all members of HSF you made it great for me and even though I dont play WoW anymore I wish you all the best!

Video by an Alliance guild who got fed up with being raided

The Leisurely Poboy Rift Review

The Leisurely Poboy Rift Review

Having played countless hours of Rift in my past I have once again picked up the torch to defend the realm Telara. After a leave of absence that spanned about a year I have jumped back into the action that is RIFT. A game that is seemingly free to play and actually very fun.

fanart by http://der-reiko.deviantart.com/
fanart by http://der-reiko.deviantart.com/

Rift is a fantasy MMO that connects players with other gamers to battle forces from other planes of reality.-GameSpot

In geology, a rift is a linear zone where the Earth’s crust and lithosphere are being pulled apart and is an example of extensional tectonics.-Wikipedia

In this game which is very much like WoW if you have ever played, but very different in its lore and gameplay, you are one of the MANY people who can save the world by venturing throughout the lands helping others and closing the RIFTs that have come forth causing chaos and mayhem in the world of Telara.

I actually really enjoy how this game has a model that the world is always in a constant crisis and it is up to you to bring an end to any one situation. Of course you can always team up with others in a public group but its not needed in every situation though it is nice to gain the upper hand and receive the extra awards that come with going further into RIFTs.

I play a cleric and recently reached level 47 on a PVP realm of which I wont name but will state that I chose this bc of my love for world PVP. I also run a guild of which is too young to even mention but I am fairly certain I will obtain some new members and we will make our way up the ranks in RIFT guild.dom.. LOL.

fanart by http://hirooyuuki.deviantart.com/
fanart by http://hirooyuuki.deviantart.com/

There are many facets of interaction that other MMO’s may not have available including the instant adventure. Which throws you into a specific area using the mentor level if it is lower than your own level and has you complete quests with a party of anywhere between 2-some strange number I cant find. This method of leveling is extremely fast combined with in game experience modifiers. Also the RIFT name of the game is a constant battle cross faction with other worldly being that if left unchecked can completely wreck the map and the area you may be trying to quest in.

Other aspects of the game include being free to play. The level grind can be somewhat long if you are not used to mmorpg’s but I find it accordingly decent in order to properly learn how to play the many different areas of your class. PVP in this game is less structured than that of the competitive LoL but is very fun and can be very challenging with a vast amount of spells and abilities to be used a new player may find themselves in awe to anyone who can successfully maneuver the characters full potential.

Overall I really prefer this game to WoW. I used to play WoW and I became bored with the way things were heading in that game. As far as MMORPG’s go I would really recommend this game to anyone who enjoys them and is looking for something more than what WoW has to offer.


CONS: pay to win? well you definitely have to pay in order to have access to convenience. Not exactly something that would make you a winner but in order to sell anything on AH you have to buy in. I will hold off on spending my money until im sure that I want to dedicate that time into this game.

Restructure Ranking ELO Destruction

Restructure Ranking ELO Destruction

With the global reset of the League of Legends ranking and the new season started Rito has implemented a new Structure for the re-entry of past season veterans. This new system has left many higher elo players struggling for decent words as they have seen all their hard work from the past season drop them into the bronze and silver tiers. I myself dropped from silver 3 to bronze 4 when I lost eight of my placement matches.

Hating league right now has become pretty sensible and I have been playing other games and focusing more on my life AFK. I did pick up from a year ago on my old RIFT account and it is pretty fun if I do say so myself.

fanart by http://dr-spoil.deviantart.com/
fanart by http://dr-spoil.deviantart.com/

Strangely enough I feel like there is much to be learned from this experience for a player like myself who isnt competing for challenger, platinum, or diamond.


I did the same thing last year but placed in bronze 1 and wasnt so discouraged as I climbed out pretty fast. This Lower ELO hell is commonly full of trolls and afk madness. I really cant comprehend wtf is going on half the time. The tunnel vision is real. It is going to be a hard climb out with my main roles being primarily supp and jungle but we must hold fast hope and cling to victory with every death. LOL.

Parasite Eve Retro Psx Emu bbys

Parasite Eve Retro Psx Emu bbys

I have been putting this one off due to a bad start on this game almost having cleared Day one in under an hour. I died during one of the more important story line battles due to not using a potion and not understanding the mechanics of the enemy attack. I played this game with my sister as a young tike and enjoyed her enthusiasm for the “scary” moments LOL. Horrified as I was it seemed as if I was addicted to the genre and quick became on my way to playing them throughout my remaining years as a gamer.

cosplay by http://ladyxzero.deviantart.com/
cosplay by http://ladyxzero.deviantart.com/

This game is about New York City cop Aya Brea. We begin the story after the opening scene that depicts some very strange and disturbing happenings and alien creatures. Arriving at the opera house to catch a date our character is stunning in a red dress. She and her date converse as they walk into the theater preparing for the show. He is almost sure to get lucky after a night at the opera one would think but the evening turns sour when the lead actress begans to somehow combust the situation into a frenzy by literally causing spontaneous combustion.

“The mitochondria KNOW”-Eve

Our character is somehow resilient to these attacks and being the super cool cop that she is decides that its time to investigate and bring justice to the situation. We are given full control at this point and have the option to delve further into the theater or exit to the street. In the street we find two fellow officers and a medic. One of the officers will restock you with ammo and the other is just a good for nothing goose. The medic as you can probably guess will heal you.

Adventuring further into the theater we find a great big gaping hole. LETS JUMP IN THAT BAD BOY! Likely the hole was created in a cut scene but i cant remember so we will just pretend that if we believe in magic then stuff like this can be explained outside of what is the truth. The games fighting mechanics are subpar for this generation of gaming. I feel like it could have been better bc the “arena” just happens to be wherever you are in the game though I dont mind that the battles dont take particularly long.

art by http://dragon54082.deviantart.com/
art by http://dragon54082.deviantart.com/

So I assume we are fighting some stupid ugly mutated rats by now and wondering when does this story line move forward an inch! Well what you didnt know is that you should be searching the closets, the burned bodies, and anything that seems searchable. Bound to find something worth your while the story just must move on. When we find the key to the dressing room and read the very strange diary of the main actress we realize that whatever is truly wrong is originating from this individual and we continue our search.

Eve is located at the end of the hallway underneath the theater. Sorry for the teaser but you are gonna want to get into that room out of anticipation to bring a close to this investigation. After approaching her she turns into some mutated Queen bee human and begins to battle you. This fight killed me and I didnt play again for two weeks making it super hard for me to finish writing this review. I finally mustered up the courage to jump back into battle and take her out carefully staying in between her quadruple plasma beam cannon attack so as to not take any damages.

Upon defeating her you receive a sweet new pistol and a new hole opens up leading further down into the sewers. Taking this route you will encounter a few more fights before seeing a girl from earlier in the game and being enticed to follow her to a closed gate where you have the option to save. After this you can also open the gate and enter. After you enter you see Eve and she discusses important storyline information telling you about yourself and how important you are to this game LOL. games… Then you fight a big stupid mutated alligator?

fanart by http://daimonminerva.deviantart.com/
fanart by http://daimonminerva.deviantart.com/

This game was sooo good in my memory. After revisiting it I can still appreciate the storyline and artwork though the mechanics are a bit too classic to be reused. I would recommend this game to anyone who is into the RETRO gaming world and also anyone who enjoys the RPG/horror genre.

Economics of LoL

Economics of LoL

Deep in thought I found myself wondering what it is about LoL that has me so wrapped up and always wanting more. Disturbed by the obsession with the game I began to contemplate ways to GET said “more” out of it. Here I am a 23 year old man playing competitive e-sports. The average LoL player is between 21-30 years of age so I fit right in with that demographic but when I watch the LCS I cant help but feel old. The pros I see are rarely older than me if any are at all. According to this post http://tinyurl.com/n9zyjhd the pro player Ocelote makes close to 1 million a year.

This has me worried b/c how can I recently unemployed(though promising prospects of jobs are making themselves known to me on a daily basis) begin to really advance in this system of LoL. I would like to progress in my rank and hold some renown to my name. I do not have said budget to even come close to be able to access all of the necessary Runes or Champions to make such leaps and bounds of practice in order to make progress. Believe me after crunching the numbers and doing the research I feel somewhat hopeless in this effect.



The amount of IP needed to own ALL Runes:133785IP average amount of time it would take to accrue this much IP based on a 50/50 win ratio including daily win bonus is 38 days of straight play 24 hours a day. NO RP BUYOUT!

The amount of IP needed to own ALL Champions:477450IP average amount of time it would take to accrue this much IP based on a 50/50 win ratio including daily win bonus is 135 days of straight play 24 hours a day. With an RP buyout at no less than $600!

Together these would require an individual to play the game for more than half a year straight. All of this aside I know there are folks who dont mind playing their limited supply of champions and just enjoy having fun in blind and draft normals but if you ever feel like you need more out of the game think about these stats.

Im not going to go into the rest of the costs bc I feel like this is substantial enough. Given that if someone were to spend that time working would be able to receive over $30,000 for their time at $.25 above minimum wage at a period of more than half a year considering that the salary for $7.50 is $15,000 a year at 40 hours a week. This game has become more than a fulltime job for many people and increasingly continues to make revenue based off of these inflated prices of ingame currency.

So if you have ever wondered how it is possible for LoL to possibly make money then here is my question to you. How much is your time actually worth? The money comes from you especially when you are only spending $5 at a time for RP.